Haix...tis skol program after pmr....is making me so sick...nw i juz feel like ponteng everyday....But i berat hati la...everytime i ponteng i feel like i'm like those BAD girls....those "LALA... mui n zhai" tat never folow d skol laws....haha....which i dun reali wan to end up 100% like dem...=.=" it sucks la...can i juz go to USA?? to c my cousin there...to c Gwen....to c n explore new stuff??? It's fcuks being here....all not's normal...stayin here makes me think of so much prob...but i'm sure if i go to USA i'll hv even more prob...lolx...
i'm talkin CRABS huh....but wad to do la...life's EAT,SLEEP,PLAY,DREAM,SING,DRAW,SIT,STAND,WALK,RUN,FIGHT,
DANCE,SMS,CALLS
,ON9,HANGIN-OUT,WRITE BLOG,READIN,CRYIN,LAUGHIN,ROLLING,FLYING,JUMPIN,OBSERVING
,TURININ
,THINKIN n all U-name-it....Haha....Boring lar....i feel like i'm wastin my time n my life....there's no meanin...no purpose of me being here...no satisfication or fulfillment too.....
And tdy i went to church...i remember d president of pastor said sumthing...in life..we should be like joseph...1st v should Fokus-->den there's a Calling frm God-->den v'll find a Purpose in life-->den v'll hv Fulfillment/Satisfication in us tat it's hard to find n unexplaiable.....These 4 steps should b put in our life...n v should fokus on God n draw near to him....not on those "Worldly Things" for ex: like materials,clothes,sex,games,humans,shoes n things ure crazy over it tat is made in tis world...
Well i admit i'm crazy over d "worldly things" like books n clothes....n bcoz of tis...i'm losing myself...losin my soul..losin d real me...losin d 24hrs n 7 days HAPPINESS in me...losin d "satisfication n full" feeling tat i used to hv in my heart when i was small...I've realise wat i'm doin is wrong....but it's so hard for me to change...like there's a gravity pullin me towards d world instead of God whenever i wana change n turn to God...n i think it's Satan...damn it...
I wana change but i'm sure or think tat many of u will dont like d new me...for i wont b so COOL or lame anymore...n u will hate d new me...coz ure not used to it or mayb u 100% dont like it either...But i will not care....all i care is wad God thinks of me...n heaven's where i'm going...watever thing i do..i do it FOR GOD...nt u....n my reward will b in heaven....a place where i'm dreamin to go....I pray when d time is RIGHT...God will use me...n may i draw nearer to him n i wana c God n Jesus...I wana b like Shyanjan Matthew...He rocks!!! I dunt wana b crazy n addicted over tis world stuff...it's draining my energy n life n soul...n i'm feelin tored of chasing d world stuff...
Coz i bet n promise u...Tat u'll NEVER EVER feel satisfied wit a thing u hv 4EVER...when u hv a new bear...u'll feel hapi n joy....but it lasts only for a day or two....but being wit God....u'll 4ever feel pleased n hapi n full in ur heart n soul...tatz wat i used to feel when i was small...bcoz during my small days...i dont chase d worldy stuff...i juz let things b it...n i'm alwayz hapi n crazy wacky..even if i'm sad,inside my heart..i'm hapi...coz i use to pray all d time..
Sumtimes my aunty n family calls me d "Prayer Warrior"...haha...nice name...coz whatever i pray for..it alwayz come true...but as i grew older...i started to get influenced by d worldly stuff n prayed less n i easily feel sad,emo,hurt..all those signs of wad teenagers use to hv...i dun wan to b like those teen...i wana b d " joyful everyday teen..."...
Ok i noe i'm like writing an essay again...so i'll stop here next time...if u wana noe more...u can come n ask me...i'll b ur counselor if u wan...Hahahah....i'll explain more detail....
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